Chill out

Prospective Employer to Applicant: "So why did you leave your previous job?"

Applicant: "The company relocated and they did not tell me where!"

______________________________

Wife: "Sir, I would like to call on my husband who left me and brought all our five kids with him."

Radio Host: "Ok, go ahead."

Wife: "Sweetheart, please return back all the kids, actually only one of them is yours."

______________________________

Your were riding a bus, when you suddenly fart. Luckily the music is very loud.

Every time you farted, you timed it with the music. When you were going down the bus, everybody were throwing dagger looks at you, and you suddenly realized....

that you have your MP3 player on your ears!

______________________________

Wife: It's a miracle! You came home early.

Husband: I just obeyed what my boss told me to do. He said: "GO TO HELL." That's why I came home early.

______________________________

Ist night grandma wore a see-thru dress, grandpa didn't react...

2nd night grandma wore t-back, grandpa still didn't react.....

3rd night grandma all naked, grandpa said "What is that you are wearing, it's all crumpled!"

______________________________

John: It's my wife's birthday.

Peter: What's your gift to her?

John: I asked her what she wanted.

Peter: What did she said?

John: Anything, as long as there is a DIAMOND.

Peter: What did you gave her?

John: Playing cards.

______________________________

Teacher: We are descendants of Adam and Eve!

Student: That's not true! My dad said we are descendants of an Ape!

Teacher: We are not talking about your FAMILY!




P/S: Is BIRDS FLU the past tense of BIRDS FLY?