Guidelines for happiness

1. Free your heart from hate.

2. Free your mind from worry.

3. Live simple but yet fun.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less.

10 Signs

Love. The definition is much debated, and the reality varies, depending upon where you are in your relationship. For example, love when you're walking down the aisle to exchange your "I Do's" is pretty different from the love you share when you're celebrating your hard-won, 50-year anniversary.

The thing is, many of us aren't even close to the proposal phase, let alone wedding or golden anniversary. What we want to know is: Does he like me? Does he really like me? Here's how to tell he's smitten.

1. He talks you up to all his friends. If you're meeting his friends for the first time and they already know your entire life history -- not to mention your favorite movie, ice cream flavor, and guilty pleasure song -- chances are he's hooked on you, and has probably been suffering major harassment at the hands of his buddies in the name of love. (Yeah, he's totally whipped.)

2. He enjoys doing the most mundane activities with you. Laundry. Running errands. Napping. Shoe shopping. Congratulations, you're the most boring couple ever. (Kidding!) But when he acts like the most routine, everyday activities are confetti-filled barrels of fun -- because you're doing them together -- there's definitely something there.

3. He'd rather talk to you than watch the latest episode of "24"... at least for now. If he shuts down his BlackBerry, Xbox, or most recently scheduled World of Warcraft raid so that he can give you his undivided attention, don't doubt his devotion. Most women would kill to command that sort of attention at later points in their relationships.

4. He's not afraid to say, "I love you." In fact, he willingly says it in front of both friends and family, and doesn't balk at PDAs either.

5. He misses you. Always. He texts and/or emails regularly to say that he was "thinking about you" or "just wanted to say hi." Even a "hey, what's up?" speaks to the depths of the pain he feels when you're not around. And if he can't let a day go by without a phone chat? You're gonna have a tough time getting rid of this one.

6. He takes it for granted that you have a future together. He says "we" instead of "I" and talks about your future together as if it's a given. "When you meet my sister you'll see what I mean" or "My birthday was boring this year. We'll have to do something fun next year." He may not have mentioned marriage, but he's definitely thinking long-term.

7. He goes the extra mile. He surprises you with candy buttons because he knows they're your fave. He puts gas in your car or unloads the dishwasher, completely unsolicited. They're not grand gestures, but he's making an obvious attempt to do something special for you. Men and women speak different languages when it comes to romance, but when he
does something nice for you without being asked, he's trying. And that speaks volumes.

8. He can't get over how beautiful you are. If you keep catching him sneaking peeks at you from across the room, he's totally a goner.

9. He picks you over the boys. His friends are hitting up the local nightclub? Well... he'd rather spend the night in with you and your latest Netflix picks. They're going to see his favorite basketball team? Well... hmm... lemme think about... what!? Of course I'd rather spend time with you, honey. Yes, he's smitten.

10. He's willing to be a total mush. As evidenced by the mixed CD he made for your "month-aversary," complete with cutesy album title and hand-drawn cover art, and accompanied by a carefully chosen card containing five long paragraphs on why he's grateful you're a part of his life.




source: web

When babies have sleep problems

How Sleep Problems Develop

When it comes to your baby's sleep problems, it may all stem back to what he's gotten used to. Here are some of the most common obstacles keeping babies from sleeping through the night

As you pace the floor outside your anything-but-asleep baby's room for the umpteenth night in a row, you may be wondering, "How did I get here? Why isn't my child sleeping through the night?" Maybe it's time to take a critical look at your baby's overall sleep patterns. It may just clue you in on why he's having a hard time sleeping through the night.

1. Your baby's sleep routine is inconsistent. Babies are creatures of habit so when, where, and how they are put down to rest is key. Babies with unpredictable sleep routines can be fussy, anxious, and prone to outbursts. Your goal — both at bedtime and for naps — is consistency, so aim for a regular schedule and sleep site (preferably baby's crib) with the same comforting quiet-down routine every time (bath, feeding, story time, etc.).


2. Your baby isn't getting enough sleep. You'd think a baby who went to bed later might sleep later in the morning, but it just doesn't work that way. Babies need a lot of sleep (14 to 15 hours a day — which includes two naps — for the average infant four to six months old), and too little translates into an overtired child who will, in fact, sleep poorly both at naptime and overnight. So make sure your darling is getting the proper amount of sleep for his age. (In a nutshell: an early bedtime and plenty of naptime.)


3. Your baby's bad sleep habits are being rewarded. If your child cries at night to be fed and you feed him, or if he cries because he wants to be held, and you pick him up, then he learns a tricky lesson: Cry and I'll get what I want. But by six months, rest assured he needs neither a nighttime snack nor a cuddle; he's just getting away with that because he can. If your child has become a "trained night feeder" remember this: Healthy full-term babies are capable of fasting for up to 12 hours at night by six months of age (provided they get enough to eat during the day).


4. Your baby leans on sleep crutches. If he can't get to sleep without his pacifier, or without you or Daddy rocking him, you're in for trouble. Why? Because if he drifts off that way, he'll expect the same send-off should he wake (and wake again) during the night. The trick: Put your baby in his crib before he's asleep so he learns how to soothe himself and nod off on his own.


source: web

To wife, ladies & bride to-be

Something to share

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce.
She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible.

Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions... She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank, blah..blah..blah. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

Five Ways to Find "Couple" Time

While you're showering so much love on your little one, don't forget the other VIP in your life — your partner. Nourishing that relationship is just as important as nurturing your baby (after all, your baby will grow up and leave the nest but your partner is yours for life), so make an effort to stay connected.

However, it's one thing to say, and another thing to do, especially when there are so many diapers and bottles and loads of laundry begging for your attention. So just how do you make sure your relationship with your partner doesn't fall by the wayside? The answer is quality time, not quantity, when it comes to connecting with your mate.

•Grab at least a few minutes together every day. An early morning cup of coffee or a late dinner (after your baby is down for the night) will give you a chance to catch up on what's up.

•Show affection freely and often. Kiss when you come in, hug when you leave. Stolen moments of intimacy — like sneaking a deep kiss as you pass in the hallway — will help you feel connected despite a hundred distractions (plus, it's totally hot).

•Shoot for some regular "together time." Schedule a weekly sitter (or maybe switch off on childcare duty with a like-minded couple) and head out for dinner, a movie, or even a drive to nowhere — sans baby. Can't leave the nest? Plan a film fest at home. Rent some flicks, order in, and snuggle on the couch. (Try not to fold laundry tonight — it'll definitely ruin the mood.)

•Let your husband, not your baby, be the center of the universe for a while. Unless there's a safety issue, your little one can wait a minute while you finish speaking with (or kissing) your spouse. Your child will not only learn to be patient, but he'll see that you respect and love his daddy.

•Remember, communication is a major step toward intimacy. If you're feeling lonely, undesirable, resentful, or anything else, talk about it with your spouse before your emotions snowball into a big icy boulder sitting between you.

source: web